We're looking to collaborate on the following vignette.  If any designer or illustrator would like to help us take this idea and turn it into some kind of advert from the future, we'd be keen to hear from you at info@simplexity.org.uk

[Preamble - This is a vignette that considers what might happen to the cars of today, if we want to a grid based system of controlled modular transport.  It is the Clarkson nightmare scenario, in Basingstoke.  

Basingstoke Car Park]

 

Join us from the 15 March 2050 as The Council for Greater South West London opens 'Basingstoke Car Park.'  This car park will be a fascinating and fun day out for the entire family.

 

Celebrating 180 years of the internal combustion engine and petrol power, Basingstoke Car Park is a must see.  Set in the picturesque suburban conurbation 85, the car park offers three square miles of motoring pleasure.

 

Learn first-hand the power and the excitement of the internal combustion engine.  Smell the exhaust fumes.  Hear the roar of a petrol engine and experience the pull of a 70 brake horse power engine.  Ride and drive* a selection of automobiles from throughout the ages.  See a number of famous British cars; from the ‘Talbot Salara’ and the classic ‘Mini Metro’ and see the most prestigious car ever made - the ‘Rolls Royce’**.  Experience the thrill of driving your own ‘Nissan Micra’ (manufactured in UK in 2012) around a full scale 20th century urban park.

 

* Please note - driving extends to the depression of an accelerator pedal between the speeds of 10-20mph.  Safety equipment must be worn at all times and each live experience is undertaken within an AI-monitored centralised safety grid.

 

** Please note - the Rolls Royce on display, although the last car to be designed by human in the UK, was manufactured in China, Unified Korea and India.

 

 

If you've enjoyed attractions at other car parks, such as Slough 'Home of the first pedestrian crossing' or Milton Keynes the alleged home of the first roundabout, then you'll love Basingstoke Car park.  Not only does it offer more roundabouts than any other car park (eight, in contrast to Milton Keynes' five), it also allows you to experience what motoring conditions were really like in the late 20th century.

In fully steerable*** self-controlled cars you and your family will be able to experience the thrill of driving in live conditions.  All of our cars allow you to experience the sensation of 'starting' the ignition.  Hear the crackle of the FM radio.  Feel the power of 'disc braking' as you negotiate the challenges of changing lanes and turning right.

 

The experience allows everyone to experience the joy of driving as fast as you want (between 20-30mph) and the excitement of live decision making.

 

*** Please note - the experience is limited to eight replica ‘Nissan Micras’ operating over a spell of 30 minutes.  The number of passengers per car is limited to four.  All acceleration is controlled between the range of 20-30mph.  Braking if not applied by the driver in appropriate circumstances, such as approaching a roundabout, will be applied automatically by the centralised safety grid.

 

 

As well as the first ‘live’ driving experience to be had in the UK for twenty years.  Basingstoke Car Park offers a unique opportunity to experience what life was really like for a motorist.  Through a range of simulations and exhibits you can see just how perilous the daily commute used to be.  Experience the perils of human decision making and undertake a simulated motorway driving experience; driving at 70mph, late at night, in wet conditions.  Experience the dangers of human error, fatigue and learn of the phenomenon of 'road rage' in our psychology of driving exhibition.

 

Visit our Driving Hall of fame were you can interact with automated replicas of key 'drivers from history'. Drive in our Grand Prix simulation: see things from Michael Schumacher’s point of view and feel what it’s like to drive at 200mph, entirely under your own control!  Meet key figures from the dawn of 'Health and Safety' and see a full scale animatronic version of the Lord Jeremy Clarkson of Beaulieu, famous for the establishment of parks for endangered automobiles popular in the 2020's that allowed those wishing to retain their driving skills to do so in specialist enclosures.  Hear exerts from his famous ‘petrol heads unite’ protest of 2025, when he encouraged motorists to converge on Central London but didn’t make it further than the congestion on the M25 Heathrow Toll barrier.

 

Finally, before you leave ensure you have a picture taken by a genuine 20th century ‘speed camera’.  How fast can you go before it flashes!

 

 

Basingstoke Car Park is located on the outskirts of the Wider London Grid; a mere 30 minutes from the Administrative Centre using autonomous transport units and a short distance from the major transit network.

By Mass Transit.  Simply travel to the Southern Network Node and take a transport to Basingstoke Central Hub.  You will be able to either walk the 5 minute journey to the Car Park or take an eco-shuttle through the local grid.

 

By Autonomous Unit.  Use the following co-ordinates for your autonomous transport unit - SG 82, CP3.  This will take your transport through the wider London commuter Grid and out to suburban conurbation 85.

Other Attractions.

 

On your journey why not learn about some of the advanced attractions and take advantage of your 'travel time' to book some activities.  You could even reserve a table at our motorway ‘service station’.  Here, in full scale replica of the original ‘Reading M4 Services’, you can experience the full range of delicious food that a British motorist would have eaten at the beginning of the twentieth century.  Experience the delights of an 'Olympic breakfast' and a ‘cup of tea’ at our replica 'Little Chef'****.

 

Come and visit Basingstoke Car Park.  A thrilling day out for all the family.

 

****Please note - due to Department of Health guidelines, Olympic breakfasts consist of soy sausages and soy-blended Fake-on™.